Unless HBO continue botching Robb and Cat… then it could just get awkward.
As in, Roose Bolton is the savior of the viewers who know the book characters? Like, he is the assassin of Robb and Cat who have been at the hands of character assassins? I just know when I watch I’m going to be like, ‘fucking finally.’
“Fantasy is silver and scarlet, indigo and azure, obsidian veined with gold and lapis lazuli. Reality is plywood and plastic, done up in mud brown and olive drab. Fantasy tastes of habaneros and honey, cinnamon and cloves, rare red meat and wines as sweet as summer. Reality is beans and tofu, and ashes at the end. Reality is the strip malls of Burbank, the smokestacks of Cleveland, a parking garage in Newark. Fantasy is the towers of Minas Tirith, the ancient stones of Gormenghast, the halls of Camelot. Fantasy flies on the wings of Icarus, reality on Southwest Airlines. Why do our dreams become so much smaller when they finally come true?
We read fantasy to find the colors again, I think. To taste strong spices and hear the songs the sirens sang. There is something old and true in fantasy that speaks to something deep within us, to the child who dreamt that one day he would hunt the forests of the night, and feast beneath the hollow hills, and find a love to last forever somewhere south of Oz and north of Shangri-La.
They can keep their heaven. When I die, I’d sooner go to Middle-Earth.”—
I have never loathed a character so irrationally in my entire life. I understand that my hatred is irrational, but I just… I need to vent.
Everything about Robb sucks. Robb sucks so hard I can’t even find Richard Madden attractive and fuck Robb for that because I’m pretty sure Richard Madden is the sort of dude whose bones I would normally fantasize about jumping. But I can’t. Because Richard Madden makes me think Robb Stark, and Robb Stark makes me want to punch walls or small children.
Robb is the worst and stupidest character in the whole series. Robb thinks with his penis, screws his men over for some broad he didn’t have the self-control to not fuck or the political savvy to not marry, doesn’t give half a shit about his sisters, is fighting a war for HONOR and VENGEANCE (which is about the dumbest thing ever to fight a war over and also means he’s wasting time by not declaring for Stannis, who at least has a good claim to the throne), and is a raging asshole to his infinitely more awesome mother. Basically, he is the douchiest doucherocket ever to launch and he’s SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD GUY which makes it about a hundred billion times worse. I like motherfucking Joffrey Baratheon better than I like Robb Stark, because at least I can love to hate Joffrey.
I can’t wait until the show gets to the Red Wedding. I want it to be the season 3 finale and I want the very last scene to be a long, lingering shot of Robb with Grey Wind’s head on his shoulders and his own head in his lap crowned with his own entrails. I want “The Rains of Castamere” playing, and I want to lap up the sweet, salty tears of the Robb Stark fangirls.